::lessons

I hate to sound so clichéd, but since my diabetes diagnosis, I have learned so many valuable lessons.

I suppose the proverbial "swift kick in the ass" is perhaps one of the most educational events one can experience.

Here is what has meant the most to me, though:

I don't need to beat myself up about this.

I've had a lifelong struggle with self-hatred and self-defeating thoughts and behaviors, but I'm learning so very much about the ultimate futility of such unhealthy habits.
If I view these recent events from the most basic level, I see this: an area of my life was careening out of control, and I needed a wake-up call to take the reins and learn to care for myself.

And I've realized that allowing issues in our lives to spiral out of control, well, that seems to be the human condition.
I am not any "worse" than anyone else.
We're all trying to keep our lives "manageable" in all nooks and crannies; our health, our relationships, our vices, our jobs, our families, our emotions...and we all fail on a regular basis.

In my endeavors to become more physically healthy, I've learned that mostly everyone I know, heavy or thin or somewhere in between, is fighting this battle as well.

The fact is, it's difficult to eat healthily and to exercise regularly, and from what I've found, it's difficult for most people.
Temptation is everywhere - especially in America where we seem to worship convenience and instant gratification - and "fat" people like me (although I prefer the word "thick" ;) ) aren't the only ones who struggle with it.

I feel so soothed and comforted by the fact that I'm far from alone on this strenous pilgrimage.