Friday, April 15, 2011

::greatest happiness

Several years ago, my dad spoke in church and told a story about me that I'd never heard.

(A bit of background:
Large heads are in my family's DNA.
I will admit, I have a huge head. Not figuratively. Literally.
I also have giant hair, so that doesn't help. But I digress.)

When I was a baby, my pediatrician was very concerned about the size of my head; he was afraid that I might have fluid build-up around my brain. [Spoiler alert: I didn't.]
So, there were tests performed.
CAT scans and such.

While my parents waited a few days for the results, they were both oppressed by anxiety and terrible unrest.
At church one Sunday morning, my dad was alone in the kitchen, pacing and holding me as he prayed for me.
In the midst of his frenzied worry, he sensed a healing, peaceful calm wash over him.
And he believes that God distinctly whispered to him,

"I love her more than you do."

In moments when I feel especially insecure, desperately inadequate, tempted to self-destruct, that story explodes in my brain like celebratory confetti.

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves,
or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
~Victor Hugo

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