Just a few things I often wish I were interested in:
All the grand declarations of "Sparty On!" and the sparring of "Go Blue!" and "Go Green!" are completely lost on me.
It seems to offer a great deal of camaraderie, so I do regret my deep apathy sometimes.
But sports are simply not intriguing to me at all.
I'm so non-competitive, I feel bad when I give someone the "Draw Two" card in UNO.
During the Super Bowl, I read Entertainment Weekly.
I saw Return of the Jedi in the theatre when I was little...and fell asleep.
I have yet to see any of its prequels.
I can appreciate the innovative storytelling and creativity of George Lucas.
But my affinity for this series is simply nonexistent.
Top Gear bores me to tears.
Antique car shows? The auto show? I'd rather go to the dentist.
I have the highest respect for mechanics, especially the honest, gracious one who's been fixing my car for as long as I've owned one.
I can muster a vague interest in an authentic Model T at Greenfield Village.
Therein lies the apex of my fascination.
To be fair, these things are not entirely uninteresting.
They're just terrifying.
When I was sixteen, I was in a canoe that tipped over in very deep water.
As I tried to push my way to the surface, my foot got trapped in some sort of undergrowth, and I became paralyzed by the fear of drowning.
This terror-induced paralysis has lingered; Ergo, I possess no desire to kayak, or canoe, or voluntarily operate any manner of watercraft.