Sports
All the grand declarations of "Sparty On!" and the sparring of "Go Blue!" and "Go Green!" are
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It seems to offer a great deal of camaraderie, so I do regret my deep apathy sometimes.
But sports are simply not intriguing to me at all.
I'm so non-competitive, I feel bad when I give someone the "Draw Two" card in UNO.
During the Super Bowl, I read Entertainment Weekly.
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I saw Return of the Jedi in the theatre when I was little...and fell asleep.
I have yet to see any of its prequels.
I can appreciate the innovative storytelling and creativity of George Lucas.
But my affinity for this series is simply nonexistent.
Cars
Top Gear bores me to tears.
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Antique car shows? The auto show? I'd rather go to the dentist.
I have the highest respect for mechanics, especially the honest, gracious one who's been fixing my car for as long as I've owned one.
I can muster a vague interest in an authentic Model T at Greenfield Village.
Therein lies the apex of my fascination.
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To be fair, these things are not entirely uninteresting.
They're just terrifying.
When I was sixteen, I was in a canoe that tipped over in very deep water.
As I tried to push my way to the surface, my foot got trapped in some sort of undergrowth, and I became paralyzed by the fear of drowning.
This terror-induced paralysis has lingered; Ergo, I possess no desire to kayak, or canoe, or voluntarily operate any manner of watercraft.