Wednesday, March 3, 2010


Yesterday I met a woman - a brilliant artist named Patricia - who gave me a complete paradigm shift.

I may end up living with her, and that excites me.

While discussing weight issues, the word "fat" was used, and I mentioned that I find that word highly objectionable, and it may be the one I hate the most.

My new friend then noted that, when one is told "You are fat," it is not merely a physical description.
Often, after a long period of hearing oneself declared as "fat," it's very easy and likely to draw the following conclusion:
Not only am I fat, but that's ALL I am.
I am not a complex, spiritual being with emotions, desires, beliefs, values and talents.
FAT negates the possibility that I could ever be anything else.
The whole of my being resides in the blubber that my body carries.

This notion, when I clearly identify it in those terms, is so preposterous and so SAD.
But it definitely describes what I came to believe about myself for many, many years.

I couldn't be pretty or interesting or smart or lovable, because the word FAT encapsulated my entire identity.

It's as if one were to say, I am freckled arms, I am bony knees, I am tiny earlobes.

I'm an avid fan of Kevin Smith, and the recent controversy involving Southwest Airlines sparked many different emotions inside of me.

I read so many cruel comments that seemed to be asking, "Why don't fat people just lose weight?"
That question is akin to approaching a homeless person and asking, "Why don't you just get a job?"
As Michael J. Fox once said, we all have our bag of hammers to lug around.

Support and acceptance are warmly welcomed.
Scorn and cruelty are uninvited.


Erin said...

I hope I have never made you feel this way. To me, you are one of the most interesting, caring, and fun people I know. I love your infectious laugh and your hilarious stories as well as your serious side and the way you feel for other people. You're truly an inspiring individual. And I mean every word.

Anastasia said...


And please don't be concerned at all, because you have NEVER made me feel that way, not even once.
In fact, you and Zach are two people with whom I feel the least self-conscious about my size/weight.
That's just one reason - in a sea of others - why I love being around your family.


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