Monday, March 23, 2009

::bygones

Last year, I lost a job because I was employed by a business that failed.

It was my favorite job that I've ever had, and I was very depressed when it ended.

I am still owed $2,500 in unpaid salary, and was promised ownership of a Nikon D70 SLR camera.
The guy who promised me those things has been an impossible person to locate or contact since everything went to hell. He "went into hiding", as some phrased it.

Today, though?
I was in Rite-Aid, and guess who was on his way out?
Yeah.
You guessed it.
That guy.

And what did I do?
Here's where you'll be really proud of me:
I did . . . nothing.
NOTHING!
As soon as I saw him, I panicked and kept walking.
Our eyes never met, our paths never directly crossed.

For several seconds, I contemplated chasing after him, sifting through all the questions I could ask, demands I could reiterate, information I could finally extract.
I stood still, frozen, literally unable to move.

I'm terrible at confrontation, always have been, and when it presents itself, I flee.


What did I really want, though? Answers? Apologies? Money? The camera?
Knowing this man and his shady nature, I'm almost 100% certain that I would not have received any of those things.
And closure is always better in our minds than in reality.
It's never satisfying when it actually happens.

Still, I cannot help but feel like a yellow-bellied coward and a raging idiot.

2 comments:

ZSB said...

Better to kind of wish you'd said something than do what I'd do and wind up wishing you *hadn't* said a whole slew of things...

E. said...

Ugh! What a horrible, awkward moment that must have been. And I'm sorry to say that for all my talking big sometimes, I bet I would have chickened out too.

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